The Year My Son and I Were Born: A Story of Down Syndrome, Motherhood, and Self-Discovery by Kathryn Lynard Soper

The Year My Son and I Were Born (large)Ah, book blogs.  You have got to love them. They add more and more to my reading list every year.  I discovered  The Year My Son and I Were Born: A Story of Down Syndrome, Motherhood, and Self-Discovery by Kathryn Lynard Soper when Melissa at Book Nut called the book amongst other things: remarkable, honest, brave, and beautiful.  Add on top of that, the fact that Soper lives here in Salt Lake City, my home town, and that’s  reason enough to get excited about it.

Kathryn Lynard Soper is the mother of six children and discovers at the birth of her seventh child that something has gone seemingly horribly wrong.  Newborn Thomas was diagnosed with Down Syndrome.  Gone were her expectations of what this child would be and in its place was fear, doubt, and anxiety.

Could I love such a son?

I rubbed my arms and legs with a rough washcloth, determined to scrub away not only blood and sweat and oil, but also doubt.  Of course I could love Thomas.  I already did. I loved him as I’d loved each of my new babies with a primal strength full and fierce .  . .

Yet I knew the bond wouldn’t be enough, not for long.  It was instinctual.  Even animal.  Thomas deserved human love, the delight and appreciation and tenderness one unique person feels for another.  I’d never felt this for a person with Down syndrome or any other disability. I didn’t know if I could.

Goose bumps rose on my arms – the hot water was gone.  And my time to indulge in weakness was gone.  A child waited in a plastic box down the hall, and six more were waiting at home, waiting for security to surround them like a warm mantle, soft yet strong. Waiting for their mother.

The Year My Son and I Were Born follows the first year of Thomas’s life.  The writing is raw, stark, and so completely honest.  Soper holds nothing back. All of her emotions are laid out for everybody to see.  There are highlights and extreme low lights and we, as readers, are privy to it all.

Read this book and watch the video.  I dare you to  not cry.  I dare you.  Because it just can’t be done.  It can’t.

One of the very best and compelling memoirs I’ve ever read.

Links of interest: Kathryn Lynard Soper website, more book blogger reviews.
Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir
Publisher: GPP Life. March 3, 2009.
Hardcover, 336 pages. ISBN 0762750618
Source copy: Library
The Year My Son and I Were Born is available from your favorite independent bookstore, Powell’s, and Amazon.

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12 comments


  1. Oh, now Natasha, how am I supposed to go play golf in 15 minutes with my face all a mess? That was just beautiful. I couldn’t help thinking about Melissa from Shhh…I’m Reading, who just gave birth to a Down’s daughter a few months ago. She has been so brave and strong through all this. I bet she would love to read this book. These little sweethearts are truly a gift from God.

    on April 15th, 2010 at 6:40 am
  2. This reminds me of an earlier memoir on the same subject, Martha Beck’s Expecting Adam (since she was an academic, her reactions really got to me, much like Soper living near you got to you).

    Although I’m pro choice, I wonder about women who are willing to raise a child, but not a Down’s syndrome baby. It must be hard, but so are many of the things in life most worth doing.

    on April 15th, 2010 at 11:45 am
  3. Oh man, that sounds sort of amazing. I think I am going to have to read it.

    on April 15th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
  4. Wow! Powerful stuff-as a mother, a person, and a reader. Sopher’s word choice is beautiful…so specific, so personal. Now you have added a book to my book list as well. Thank you!

    on April 15th, 2010 at 1:06 pm
  5. Oh this sounds like such a wonderful hard book. I really want to read this!

    on April 15th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
  6. You’re right – it’s impossible to watch that video without crying. The title reminds me of someone I know with an autistic daughter – she says her daughter has taught her more than she’ll ever teacher her daughter.

    on April 15th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
  7. I hadn’t seen the video before… wow. And I’m so glad I inspired you to pick this one up. Kathryn is a beautiful writer and an amazing person; her book deserves to be read.

    on April 16th, 2010 at 8:43 am
  8. Oh my gosh, Sandy commented here about Shh..I’m Reading, and I went to her blog and saw the most beautiful blog and story that you’ve ever seen and now I’m a mess and I haven’t even seen your video yet! What the heck, my shirt’s all wet anyway, so here I go…

    on April 16th, 2010 at 8:49 am
  9. This makes me wish my mom were around. My oldest sister is Downs Syndrome, and let me tell you how much she has shaped me into the person I am today. I need to read this memoir.

    on April 16th, 2010 at 8:53 am
  10. I’ve been interested in this one since I heard about it. I keep thinking it will be better for me after I have kids :)

    on April 16th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
  11. Wow…thanks for pointing this one out to me. I have a dear friend who’s nephew has Down’s. He is in the hospital right now due to complications. I am going to recommend this one to her for her sister-in-law.

    on April 17th, 2010 at 9:48 am
  12. I had this one on my to-read list, but I don’t think I realized that Soper lives here in Utah. Thanks for the review and the video!

    on April 20th, 2010 at 8:17 am
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