Do Some Picture Books Teach Our Children Irrational Fears and Behaviors?
Two months ago my oldest boy who is about to turn four (FOUR!) had no clue that he was supposed to be scared of the dark. None. Never occurred to him.
We never left a light on for him at night and he was fine wandering around with all the lights off. A few weeks ago, I took my boys camping at Bear Lake and Yellowstone, and once it got dark, he told me it was too scary because of the monsters. Tonight he wouldn’t walk up the stairs up to his bedroom because it too was scary.
So what changed? Why would he all of a sudden be scared?
I’m blaming it all on the camping books that we checked out from the library to prep my boys for the trip.
I must admit that I thought this was a simply brilliant idea of mine. And my boys thought so too. They LOVED the camping books. They had never been camping so were completely clueless on the whole thing. We read the books each night and then set the tent up in the backyard. As soon as it was up, they asked for the fire and marshmallows. They only knew about this activity from the books, so they were playing close attention!
When we went on the actual trip they were beside themselves with excitement and had a fabulous time. We spent a lot of time at the beach, went boating, cooked over the fire, roasted marshmallows, slept in the tent (highlight for the boys) and saw all the wildlife of Yellowstone. Might I add here that I did this WITHOUT my husband who instead was at Comi-Con, either I’m really crazy or superwoman. I survived unscathed, so I’m shamelessly calling myself superwoman.
I can’t help myself. Must quickly share some photos:
Okay, back to the subject at hand.
I couldn’t help but notice in almost all of the picture books that I read about camping there was a commonality between them: the woods are so scary and full of monsters that they always run back home to sleep in their backyard instead.
Case in point:
Camping Day by Patricia Lakin with illustrations by Scott Nash. In this picture book, four crocodiles decide to go on a camp out, grab their things, pack the car and speed off. They had a great time putting up the tent, roasting smores, singing songs and telling stories. But as soon as it gets dark they all yell, “Scary!” and huddle in their sleeping bags. They see monster shadows on the tent wall and then . . .
“Let’s scram!” cried Sam, Pam, Will and Jill. They grabbed their things. They ran and ran. They sped away in their small van.
“Stop!” said Sam. “Safe!” said Pam. “Home!” said Will. “Let’s camp!” said Jill.“ZZZZZZ!” snored Sam, Pam, Will and Jill.
The closing illustration shows them sleeping in the fenced in backyard under the lights of their living room.
Duck Tents by Lynne Berry and illustrated by Hiroe Nakata. Okay, this picture book is ADORABLE. My boys loved it so much. It’s got really cute illustrations and fun text. This one is slightly different in that the camping is already taking place in the backyard and even so, it’s STILL scary. There are five ducks and each one is sleeping alone in their own tent (right next to the house in a stone fenced-in enclosure) and the text reads:
Five ducks sigh, full of marshmallow goo.
Five little ducks hear a whoo-whoo-whoooooo.
Ducks all dive for their tents in a row,
Zip up tight, and lie down low.Two little ducks poke out two beaks.
“I’m not scared,” one little duck squeaks.
“I’m not scared,” quack two, three, four.
The fifth little duck pretends to snore.Yet five little ducks can’t help but hear
Sounds of the nighttime, loud and clear.
Whoo! Whoo! Whoooooo!One by one, four little ducks creep . . .
“Not scared now,” ducks sigh and peep,
And snuggle up tight and drift to sleep.
This last stanza is shown with an illustration of all five ducks snuggled in together in one tent.
Jerome Camps Out written and illustrated by Eileen Christelow. This book was actually a bit above my boys interest level so we only read it once. But the premise is the same. Jerome and his friends go on a weekend camping trip with their school and decide to play a trick on somebody by convincing him that there is a monster in the lake. The illustrations show the boy quivering underneath his sleeping back unable to sleep the entire night because he’s so scared of the lake monster. The next morning, Jerome finds out that the supposed monster wasn’t as imaginary as he thought. The ending illustration is that of a monster (a very friendly looking monster actually) waving goodbye from the lake.
Mr. Bear’s Vacation by Debi Gliori. This is a fun, little book about a family of bears who want to take small bear on her first camping trip. They pack a picnic, a tent and head out. Everything is great until it got dark:
“What’s that?” said Mr. Bear.
“What?” said Mrs. Bear.
“That snorting sound,” whispered Mr. Bear. “Outside, listen . . . ”
The bears fell silent.
Flora’s ears twitched.“Look,” said Mrs. Bear in a trembly whisper. “There on the wall.”
“AAARGH!” screamed Mr. Bear.
“It’s a monster!” wailed Small Bear.
“MoooOOOO,” said the monster.
The illustration shows what is really a cow falling into their tent.
“Quick! Let’s go!” yelled Mr. Bear, quickly putting out the fire, stuffing the little bears into the backback, and pulling Mrs. Bear and Flora after him.
They run home and declare that they need another vacation from their vacation. Again, home is much safer than the outdoors.
Now to be fair. Of the six books that I got from the library (which I found simply by searching for camping under juvenile picture books) two of them were fine and were not about how camping is scary. In Let’s Go Camping with Mr. Sillypants by M.K. Brown, Mr. Sillypants sleeps in and misses the start of his camping trip. The other, Stella and Roy Go Camping by Ashley Wolff, a book mainly about bear safety, was actually my oldest’s favorite of the six because he LOVED learning about all of the animal tracks. And it paid off too. During our camping trip, he was on the look out for prints the whole time and was excited when he found them.
SO. Like I mentioned earlier, while we were camping and after the sun went down, my oldest told me that the dark was too scary and he wanted to go to the tent and sleep. Fortunately, unlike most of the characters in these books, he was never scared inside the tent. But being scared of the dark was something that never really occurred to him before we read these books. The four that I mentioned above all explore the idea that when it gets dark, the monsters come out and they all hightail it back home where it’s safe.
Why would a child think that the dark is scary or that there are monsters under the bed or in the closest? In my case, they learned it from the picture books. My boys are still to young to understand the concept that monsters are imaginary. If a book says that there are monsters in the dark when we camp then it must be so.
Do you think that we teach our kids to be scared when it’s all supposed to be fun and games? We use books to correct our children’s behavior so to me it makes total sense that they also can teach incorrect behavior as well. And why in the world do I want to create more work for myself in the future by trying to unteach these behaviors? Thoughts?
(And on another note, I’m thinking of putting my oldest in preschool and was checking out this list of books for preschoolers compiled by Reading Rumpus. Many are about being scared and missing mommy. Perhaps I should avoid those ones.)
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This is such an interesting question! My son is only a year and a half but I can definitely see the literature changing as he gets older. I think that authors think they are teaching kids not to be afraid by zeroing in on stereotypical fears but you’re right, I think that it may be a chicken and egg thing, that it might not BE there in the first place if we didn’t bring it up or reinforce it. It’s especially important for me that we (and a specific for my family, not “We” as in society!) steer clear of the “missing mommy” ones. I think that you’re definitely on to something…
on August 23rd, 2009 at 5:08 amI think that kids can learn a lot from books and other cues in their environment. You’re lucky that they hadn’t picked up fear of the dark before from tv or other kids. It probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to screen the books for scary ideas. It would be too bad if you had to start in with the night lights and scary dreams when you haven’t had those issues before.
on August 23rd, 2009 at 6:42 amoh that’s sad that the books scared them. I’d have to agree that you should read all picture books yourself before you read it to a kid.
on August 23rd, 2009 at 7:04 amGreat photos. I like the one in front of the tent.
on August 23rd, 2009 at 7:43 amHe is so cute with his little camping face.
on August 23rd, 2009 at 8:51 amNo expert here -
But I do know there’s a point in development with small children where they have a separation anxiety. Its very well documented, and can be triggered for a variety of reasons. It is mostly very normal. There are some things to look for when it is not – an early childhood post grad class gave us a bunch of books and articles around the subject. But I’ll be darned if I remember any specifics.
This all sounds very normal and common.
No big surprise to me that books could/would/did do that. I like books that challenge me, change me. I think story, like song, is a way to make information more accessible to children, too (as in, memorization of a song is much easier than memorization of mere words).
on August 23rd, 2009 at 8:53 amI love this post. I think about these issues a lot! Re: the dark, when Kevin first started sleeping in his own room, I told my mother I had to buy a night light, and she said “the dark is only scary if you make it scary. he’s not afraid of the dark.” She was so right. In general, I like us to read as many books as possible, but I think every book you read shapes you in some small way. I know some parents who won’t read their kids Where the Wild Things Are because they don’t want them to become afraid of monsters. I agree that the whole starting school, missing mama, lonely thing is a fine line too. My nephew is starting preschool (age 4), and I wondered what would be appropriate without being too negative. I went with How Do Dinosaurs Go To School. I think ultimately, our kids will pick up little fears from books, tv, other kids, billboards, and their own imaginations, whether we like it or not. So I guess the best we can do is screen books, read them alongside them, and if an unexpected fear pops us, get other books to try to counter it. And by the way, huge kudos for camping sans husband — you are a super mom!
on August 23rd, 2009 at 9:47 amWhat a great post. It brings up an issue that I noticed whilst raising my son (who is now 15 and no longer scared of the dark!). Books definitely feed our imaginations and sometimes not in a good way like introducing things to be afraid of that we might not have been before. There must be some books out there that make the monsters the good guys? Anyway I think you are definitely a superwoman to have taken your boys on a roadtrip and camping all on your own. What beautiful memories you will cherish from the trip!
on August 23rd, 2009 at 10:23 amGreat post! Thanks for the pics, your boys are too cute!
I completely think that in an attempt to calm our children’s fears, books and tv shows add to their anxiety.
Anxiety over school is the biggest example of how books missed the mark for my kids. Neither of my boys had trouble going to school – there was NO crying for mommy. I prepped them, told them what to expect, and they were psyched! Only until AFTER getting to school, and the teacher read that Kissing Hand book did my kids even think about missing me. Grr.
That being said, there are some great books out there for kids who already have fears — of the dark, thunderstorms, school, or making new friends.
on August 23rd, 2009 at 11:24 amOh definitely. With my son, I learned pretty quickly to avoid those types of books. The ones that emulate bad behavior or scary stuff. Things they would never have thought of on their own. Aside from that, you go girl. What a wonderful mother you are to take your kids camping by yourself. Not something I would even attempt.
on August 23rd, 2009 at 12:30 pmMy husband and I were thinking along the same lines, although not about books. We were chatting about how our kids never fail to turn the lights off before going to bed and how they’re never afraid of the dark. We figure it’s because no one ever told them the dark was scary or that there were monsters under their bed. Come to think of it, the reason I was scared as a kid was because my nanny threatened me with superstitions if I didn’t listen.
on August 23rd, 2009 at 12:58 pmP.S. Just want to say your kids are sooo adorable!
on August 23rd, 2009 at 12:59 pmVery interesting question. I think the books about conquering fears can definitely backfire! Love the pictures – looks like you all had a great time!
on August 23rd, 2009 at 1:08 pmThey also learn it from other kids. The Pirate was never scared of the dark until his friend told him there was something scary in the closet. He hasn’t slept in his own room for months.
Superwoman indeed! We camped last night (ONE night) and I’m about to DIE today- the Bug DOES NOT SLEEP when we camp. I got about 4 hours sleep, non-continuous and today they won’t nap at the same time, so no nap for me! (My husband had to go to work, booo.) I think that if we went more than one night in a row it would help, one night is just too exciting for a baby.
on August 23rd, 2009 at 1:46 pmWhen my son was about 2 he started worrying about the “monster in the clock” which was his own invention. I remember having many a conversation with the clock to tell the monster to be quiet at night at let my son sleep. Since then he has gone on to love monsters and has created an entire fictional monster world called “Monster City.”
on August 23rd, 2009 at 3:21 pmI think each child is different and some will get scared at things you would never dream off. Even if moments before they weren’t. How many kids come home from school scared of spiders because one of their friends was?
My 4yo boy loves anything scary and when he started to have nightmares I decided – NO MORE SCARY STORIES – then one night while comforting him at 2am I asked ‘what did you dream’ he said ‘it was sooo scary mummy my toys fell in the pool and I couldn’t get them out.’ mmm I guess we have kept the ’scary monsters’ not so scary after all. I think that is the trick – I actually make up stories for my boy and always make him the one who is not scared, the brave one, the monsters are scared of him.
on August 23rd, 2009 at 3:44 pmFor my son, it was a part of a Magic Treehouse book I was reading him–he didn’t sleep in his bed again for about a year!
I wonder, though, whether such fears are inevitable in some kids, some imaginations. If it wasn’t the books you read out loud, it would be the story someone told them, something they glimpsed on television, a video they saw. It may be impossible to keep them protected from things that might spook them. Their minds just….roam.
on August 23rd, 2009 at 3:47 pmOooh you all look like you had so much fun! We’re attempting to plan a camping trip in a couple of weeks…can’t wait to get out in the woods!
Oh and I sent you an email about possibly staying here for KidLitCon, I haven’t heard back from you yet, and I wanted to make suer you did get the email. Sometimes the spam folder is a horrible thing!
on August 23rd, 2009 at 7:14 pmFirst of all–love the pictures! It looks like you guys had a blast on your trip(s). I have fond memories of Bear Lake from when I was little, but sadly that was probably 20 years ago…
Second, I certainly think that children are conditioned into thinking certain things. We were actually talking about this the other night when a toddler at the party kept running into things and falling down. His reaction almost always mirrored our reaction. He wasn’t hurt, but if we cried out and made a big fuss then he immediately started crying. I think it’s the same things with movies and TV and things that we read. Although, to credit your son, I’m 28 and still scared of the dark.
I blame it on playing “Bloody Mary” with my cousins when I was little. 
on August 23rd, 2009 at 8:21 pmSaw your post and thought, yep happened to my son. He read books about ghosts and ever since then , he was scared of ghosts in his room. Ugh! It took a long time to convince him there were no ghosts!
on August 24th, 2009 at 10:21 amGreat post and your pics are great, kids are cuties!
Natalie :0)
That is interesting. I never thought of that before. My son is scared of his closet, but aside from Monster’s Inc I can’t see why.
The books may have been a factor for your kids, but like someone else said, they could pick up fears from anywhere. As far as separation anxiety goes, many kids go through that – mine included. He had been in preschool for almost two years before I could leave him without a scene. So good luck with that. Cute Pictures!
on August 24th, 2009 at 11:14 amCute photos!
on August 24th, 2009 at 12:27 pmBarbara Kingsolver says in her essay “Civil Disobedience at Breakfast” (included in High Tide in Tucson) that children live up to our expectations for them and that she’s suspicious of the label “the Terrible Twos. If we’d all heard half so much about, say the ‘Fat Fours,’ I’d bet dollars to donuts most four-year-olds would gain lots of weight, and those who didn’t would be watched for the first sign of puffiness. Children are adept at becoming what we expect them to be.”
My daughter had no idea she should be afraid of the dentist until she watched Finding Nemo- and she has a great children’s dentist who makes it all fun, but was petrified to get her first checkup/cleaning! If your kid’s not scared of something already, why give them the idea? I wish she hadn’t seen that movie.
on August 24th, 2009 at 3:33 pmYou’re a super mom, the photo showing you with one little guy on your back and the other one in front of you is hardcore
I don’t have kids or anything, but I did nanny and babysit a lot when I was younger. I do remember noticing that different kids would respond really differently to things like going to bed or parents leaving or whatever. I don’t know if it’s from books — someone above said kids pick up stuff from all over the place, which I definitely think is true.
on August 24th, 2009 at 7:13 pmVery interesting post. Short answer – yes – books can sometimes give kids ideas they never would have had otherwise (but sometimes that’s what we want, isn’t it?).
Gorgeous photos!!!
on August 24th, 2009 at 8:45 pmOkay, I think I just read you “complaining” that your 4 year old was asking to go to sleep? And I’m remembering a little 4 year old (now 12) who used to refuse to go into the tent because he wasn’t tired. And I’m thinking, “Dang. Should’ve read more camping books.”
I do think books can plant the seed of an idea, but I also think a kid has to be ripe for a particular fear when that seed is planted. It’s one thing to mimic “the dark is scary” but a completely different thing to be truly afraid in the dark. We’ve read books about kids being scared of spiders, snakes, and so on, and my kids never showed the least amount of fear around those things. My older son was too afraid of the dark to come get me in the middle of the night for years, and would actually wake the toddler to keep him company on the trek across the hall to my room. That toddler, now 9, has only recently expressed any fear of the dark, even though he had a big brother telling him the dark was scary all that time!
on August 24th, 2009 at 11:07 pmRecently, my daughter (who is 3) watch Monster, Inc. My daughter who has never been afraid of monsters is now afraid of monsters. She told me that night that monsters were coming out of the floor. My answer…”only good monsters come out of the floor.”
I’m still unsure on how to handle her fear and I thought about not letting her watch certain movies, read certain books…but, I can’t hide the world from her and at least now I have some control over what she sees and I can help her walk through it and deal with her fear. I’m not saying she’ll be watching any R-rated moves any time soon…
After the first two nights, she wasn’t scared of anymore. Sometimes, she’ll say to me “mom, there’s a monster over there” and she’ll laugh. If she’s laughing then they must not be that scary.
Now…what do I do about the Easter Bunny! She is petrified of the Easter Bunny!
on August 25th, 2009 at 1:52 pmYour boys are adorable! It looks like you all had fun at Yellowstone.
This is interesting. I don’t have kids, but I remember being one (haha), and I was never frightened of the dark, either, until I saw a TV show “documentary” about Dracula and how people dug up his grave but it was empty (!!!). So after that I was convinced that vampires were real and I refused to go into any dark room by myself. But, you know… I got over it. Eventually. Kind of.
on August 25th, 2009 at 3:54 pmSomething similar happened to my oldest daughter. She wasn’t afraid of anything and then we read a book that was innocent enough, about monsters under the bed and in the closet. It was a funny enough story. It was very silly. Still, the next night, she was terrified of monsters coming out from under the bed.
My youngest, fortunately, is afraid of nothing. She loves Harry Potter movies, even ones that I think are verging on scary!
So, yes, I think books sometimes put ideas in kids heads…sometimes negative ones…but will I stop reading books to them because of this…not a chance.
on August 25th, 2009 at 10:11 pmHmmm….I should check the books for my camping storytime to see if they deal with the dark. I know one of the stories is about noises.
on August 26th, 2009 at 12:53 pmGreat post! My oldest son is nearly four too. He is very influenced by the books I read him. I try to avoid anything with monsters in at the moment as he has terrible nightmares after reading them. Poor things wakes up shaking becasue he has seen a monster in the corner.
He did get very excited the other day though – he saw a dragon flying in the sky (the sun was setting, so I guess a bird looked red when it flew past) I do love the fact they believe everything they read.
on August 26th, 2009 at 1:07 pmkudos to you for going camping with your kids without the hubby. What a lovely expereince and memory for you and your boys to share. You should try and do it again since a marvelous time was had by all.
I never thought about books making kids scared of things. I don’t have kids, but I know I never had books like that. My mom and I talked about this before, and she said she doesn’t recall these books being aroundwhen I was young. She wouldn’t have let me read them anyway
on August 26th, 2009 at 1:36 pmOkay I had a really cool comment that just got deleted, accidently by me, I seem to be doing that a lot lately on my laptop.
Anyway, glad to know that you such a great time and loved all the pictures.
Yes I think some books can get kids scared about something, but I also think it is the age. Around 4 or 5 children have a really hard time telling the difference between reality and make believe.
My daughter (5) had a very irrational fear of skunks for a while after watching a Curious George episode about skunks
on August 26th, 2009 at 9:48 pmI’m glad you had such fun camping! Your pictures are wonderful. =)
I don’t have children, but I was a very fearful child, so almost everything scared me. I do know that books/movies/TV had an influence on what I was afraid of, but I invented plenty of it myself. So I think it depends on the kid. I will keep this in mind for when I have my own child though, as I plan on doing my best to save him/her the nights of terror expecting ghosts to emerge from the wall or something. I’m so glad those days are past!
on August 27th, 2009 at 11:37 amThis is a great post,Natasha. You’ve given me a lot of food for thought about how we place books with families … and a new question to ask. I mentioned this post in an interview I just did with Write4Kids. Hope it generates more discussion.
on August 28th, 2009 at 11:34 amI never thought of that before. Perhaps some of my childhood fears were the result of the sometimes terrifying children’s books I read as a child. There was this one I remember very vividly about a monster in the closet and I was afraid to even go near my bedroom closet for years.
I also have an award for you here.
on August 29th, 2009 at 5:41 pmI believe that both books and TV can teach our kids fears and behaviors. For instance, my kids are in love with Scooby Doo.. love the books and cartoons, but have nightmares about them. I try, whenever possible, to read them books that are not scary, and that send a good message. For instance, just read one tonight to my littlest one titled, “Dear Baby, What I love about you!” by Carol Casey. The book was interesting, had beautiful illustrations, and even fun board games were included.
on September 7th, 2009 at 12:16 am