Maw Books Blog

Wow.  I could not put down Shattered Dreams, My Life as a Polygamist’s Wife by Irene Spencer.  I carried it with me everywhere and snuck in pages whenever I could.  I kept discussing everything that I was reading with my husband because I could not believe that woman actually lived like Irene Spencer.  After I finished the book, I wanted more.  So I immediately went out and read Escape by Carolyn Jessop which was just as, if not more, amazing.  That review will follow this one.  I read both of these books in July and haven’t written their reviews yet because I felt inadequate to do so.  I hope I can wrap my mind around what I read and give it justice.  And I also hope that I don’t confuse the two stories.

Irene Spencer grew up as a member of a fundamentalist polygamous church, an offshoot from the mainstream Mormon church.  She did not live with the same group that was affiliated with Warren Jeffs (although Carolyn Jessop did).  Irene’s own father had more than one wife and she had thirty-one brothers and sisters. From the time that she was young she was taught that polygamy was the only way to receive salvation and that she should never question the authority of her leaders, her family, or the church. They were God’s chosen people.

You would have thought that Irene would have been able to see past the abuses that the polygamist lifestyle brought upon those who practiced it, but the doctrine was so ingrained that she truly believed that it was her privilege to live polygamy.  She even believed it when as a child they lived in extreme poverty.  They scrounged for the food and wore dresses made out of flour sacks.  She even believed it when she saw her father become a drunk (even though he was living the “higher” law of polygamy), and her mother leave him and become a single parent. Her mother pleaded with her to not practice it, but she simply thought that her own mother was not strong enough, not “spiritual” enough to live it.

At the age of sixteen, Irene was given a way out.  She fell in love with a monogamous, non-believer who begged her to marry him.  At the same time, her brother-in-law Verlan LeBaron (her sisters husband!) told her that he had received revelation that she was to marry him.  Irene volleys back and forth not sure what to do or whom she should marry.  She almost elopes twice with the monogamous man (who by the way is much older, in his thirties) and her mom is begging her to marry him as well.  Her father and the church want her to marry Verlan.  I remember thinking, “Don’t marry the polygamist!  Don’t do it!  Marry the other guy!”  And then I remember thinking, “What in the world am I thinking?! Marry the other guy?  You’re SIXTEEN!  You are going to drop out of high school to get married?!  Don’t marry either of them!  Don’t do it!  You shouldn’t even be thinking about getting married when you’re sixteen!”

Believing her salvation is at stake, Irene Spencer does marry Verlan.  After government raids on their group, Verlan takes his wives and moves them to a ranch in Mexico where they won’t be subject to strict laws and can live their faith freely.  To say that Irene Spencer lived in extreme poverty is an understatement.  She lives most of her life with no electricity, no plumbing, hand washing clothing on a scrubbing board, and absolutely no comforts of life.  She gives birth to thirteen children (without medical care) and adopts one and must share a home with her husbands other nine wives and his other 44 children.

Irene is in constant competition with the other wives.  Whenever Verlan is home, they always fight about how much he time he spends with another wife, how much sex they are each getting and who is his favorite.  Irene craves his attention and hates to share her husband with his other wives.  Verlan believes that sex should only be used for procreation and not intemacy, so even if the wives are in the mood, Verlan feels it a sin.  The only problem is, Irene loves sex and is constantly fighting her husband and the other wives to have it.  Personally, I thought Verlan sounded awful and couldn’t understand why anybody would be fighting to have sex with him.  But man, he must have felt needed.

Okay,this is getting too long, I’ll wrap this up.

Not receiving the attention and intimacy that  she craves and literally tired to the bone of taking care of 54 children and living in unheard of conditions, I could not believe the physical and emotional abuse Irene Spencer and these other women went through.  Women should NEVER be made to feel so degraded and worthless as the women in this sect feel.  This was an amazing account of what women in this country actually live like.  Why they do is beyond me.  I was so glad to see Irene finally leave and write such a honest account of her life.  What I loved about her was how feisty she was.  She managed to never lose that part of her and I believe it’s her brashness that helped her finally escape.

Being Mormon myself, I could pinpoint a lot of the concepts that Irene Spencer talked about but could see how dementedly twisted they were.  Some of the beliefs of the fundamentalists are the same but some are SO different that my only fear is that non-Mormons would assume that many of the principles mentioned are the same in the mainstream Mormon church, which they are not.  There were way to many inconsistencies between the two churches that it’s not even worth trying to pick them out.

Irene Spencer has a great website with interviews, video and photos.   She has been remarried for nineteen years and has 118 grandchildren and 37 great-granchildren.  She travels extensively speaking out about polygamy.  A review of Carolyn Jessop’s book Escape to follow this one.

This was one of the best books I’ve read all year.  It will have you turning every page with horror.  Highly recommended