Maw Books Blog

So I found this book called Cheap Psychological Tricks of Parents: 62 Sure-Fire Secrets and Solutions for Successful Parenting by Perry Buffington at the secondhand store. I thought, hey, why not. I’m always on the lookout for helpful parenting tips and it was only $1. Surely I could glean some helpful hints for a dollar.

While reading this book, I thought, are you kidding me? Do I really need to be told that babies like to be rocked? Haven’t rocking chairs been around for, like, forever? Chronic bedwetting? First things first, check it out medically and then use yellow sheets? Yellow sheets? That’s the answer? Hmm . . . How about a scrap or a bloody boo-boo? Wipe up the blood with a red rag so your child won’t see the blood and get even more scared. Sounds good, but really, when am I going to have a red rag handy while my child is bleeding profusely. And a whole section on how to tell a scary story. Seemed out of place. And then helping your child get more out of what they read by telling them to visualize what they’re reading as a movie in their heads. Really? Is it just me or am I the only one who thinks that this already comes naturally as a result of reading? Reading is imagination, right? Who reads without visualizing?

But then I did go back with little stickies to mark the tips that I did appreciate, were new ideas, or simply ideas I already knew but it was a good reminder. Surprisingly, there were more than I thought.

• Teach your child to sign. Okay, completely agree with this one. I’ve actually had a draft in my posts folder for ages now on how much I love signing with my kids and how many signs my two year old knows which is somewhere between 20-30. Smartest thing we ever did. More about that another time!

• “Have books in the house. . . A great deal of research has shown that the mere presence of book in a home increases a child’s verbal skills and enhances his love of language.” Yes! I always knew that this was important. Now I can keep buying guilt free. But here’s the statement that had me really worried, “Some research has shown that having books in the home helps even when the parent never reads to the child.” What?! A parent that never reads to the child! So, so sad. Dr. Buffington doesn’t even mention the benefits of ACTUALLY reading to your child. Read to your child. What’s the point of having the books if you don’t read them?

• “Self esteem = abilities divided by aspirations.” The better you are at things you want to do, the greater your self esteem. Find a few things your child can be really good at rather than just mediocre at a lot of things.

• “What you think is rebellion may actually be your child’s inability to perform the assigned task.” Make sure your expectations are age appropriate.

• “Become best friends with your librarian.” Yes! Go librarians! I love the library. Librarians can steer you in the right direction and help you find books/topics to help you in any situation with your child.

• “Give your child an analog watch rather than a digital watch. An analog watch - one with hands - teaches the entire concept of time. As your child learns how long it takes the hands to move, he spatially and intuitively learns how much time is used up in that interval.” So when you say five more minutes, your child will actually know how much time that is.

• “It takes the same amount of energy to think about success as it does to think about failure. Negative or positive thinking appears to be a learned preference - even learned by the age of three.” So like The Little Engine That Could, teach your child to say, “I think I can. I think I can.” And most likely, they will.

• “If you want to help your child have a positive attitudes, you must accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.” So instead of saying “take this glass and do not spill it,” say “take this glass of milk and hold it with both hands.” Say “close the door gently, please” instead of saying “do not slam the door.” When saying the negative, a child will think about that action, and so then those outcomes are inevitable. Say the positive and your child will think about that action instead.

So I have mixed feelings about this book. Each tip was only about 2 pages, so nothing was covered in depth at all. Not complaining though, because these were just quick and dirty tips. Some of the ideas were great, some not so great. Just as with all parenting books, you have to pick and choose what you’ll take from it. Would I pay full price for this book? No. But not bad for a dollar.

On a side note, I thought I would mention that my toddler took half a gallon of milk and poured all of it on the kitchen floor today and then proceeded to jump around in it. I mean, a huge milk puddle is really fun, right? That was before he got into the butter and smeared it all over the kitchen counter. Sigh . . .

What’s your #1 parenting tip?